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”“That great!” says the frog. “So what’s the bad news?”“Well, you’re going to meet her in Biology class.”✧ ✧ ✧A woman’s on vacation and calls homeShe asks her husband, “How’s my cat doing?”The husband says, “The cat’s dead.”The woman’s upset and says, “Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could have just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down.”“Okay, I’m sorry,” says the husband, “I’ll remember that.”The woman says, “Anyway, how’s my mother doing?”The husband says, “Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”✧ ✧ ✧What do you get when you cross a whore with a computer??A fucking know it all✧ ✧ ✧Good HeavensThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved.. ”“Don’t sweat it, mate.” Mike grunted, “It’s all good fun, Heather has needs and I’m glad you...”“I don’t mean that, Mike. Look, I’ve been at sea for 30 years. I can tell you have a load on board, I assume it’s in that new oversized fuel tank that has no fuel in it.”Mike was silent; I appreciated that he didn’t insult my intelligence by attempting denial.“What do you want to do?” Mike asked.“You could drop me on one of the islands.” I suggested. “I’ll bum a passage from someone.”I would never rat on them, but I didn’t want to be aboard when the customs men came.“Yeah, ok.” Mike said, “But don’t let Heather know you know. She’s paranoid about that sort of thing; just pretend you never figured it out, ok?”As I fell asleep, I had an epiphany; Heather was a patsy. Mike had lured her aboard without telling her what he was doing.That was a shock to me; in my world, smuggling is a choice many make, it’s one of the only ways to fund a life at sea. I chose to be poor instead of taking the.
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